I have hard times being assertive.
Challenges, goals - I get sweaty hands just hearing these words.
I kept the section "Goals Achieved" in my monthly job reports empty.
Another time, I struggled for a month to complete 2 pages of yearly appraisal report.
I know I want to better myself. Not in terms of what I do professionally or what I own. But what I am as a person.
I can only do it being out of my comfort zone, by challenging my passivity.
So I make a list of 7 day challenges. The list has nothing to do with career, money or fame. These challenges are for my personal development. To rediscover and reshape my damaged self. To help healing and guiding my broken spirit in finding its true purpose.
I am doing these things for sometimes, but not all of them consistently. Now I want to make them my habits.
None of them are complex, but not easy to maintain by any mean.
1) No Complain
Undoubtedly, hardest challenge in this list. Complaining has spread its root too deep inside us. The worse part: complain triggers upset, which drains away the life energy.
I challenge myself not complaining for a week. Everyday for a week, I want to eradicate my complaining thoughts and feel happier.
2) No Judgement
From waking up in the morning till sleeping at night, I had these crazy judgemental thoughts. I judged everyone and everything, except myself. Small judgmental thoughts opened a dark portal inside me from where only more negativity appeared.
Most of the times its my ego. I want to crush it.
So I take up the challenge neither to judge nor compare anyone or anything, for a week.
This is an exercise to prepare the ground for accepting people or things as they are.
3) Everyday Gratitude
I took many things in my life for granted. I rarely appreciated, be thankful. And the price was high. I abused and damaged relationships, I lost self-respect.
Instead of complaining what I haven't got, I am thankful for what I have, for this 1 week. I want to wake up each morning with gratitude: for my life, having the education, a family, receiving love, care and attention (in a good way).
It flows positive energy in me and makes me humble enough.
15-20 minutes a day, sitting in a relaxing position in a quiet place or at a quiet time, with deep yet easy breathing (Inhale then Hold then Exhale then Hold again. Repeat), I am a spectator to my emotions, scenes appear in my mind. Instead of forcefully controlling them, I allow my agitated mind to run wild.
And when the mind is tired, it settles down naturally. I learn a lot about myself and become more mindful to my surroundings.
Meditation brings balance to my life.
5) Random Help (or, Random Act of Kindness)
I am trying to help at-least a stranger in a day. Doesn't have to be enormous. Every little help helps. It can be assisting someone to ride the bus or leaving the seat to someone who actually needs it.
Helping others acts as antidepressant, by stimulating the production of serotonin. I experience that the pain, stress suddenly vanished. And I am full with happiness.
I am doing this for last few months, writing around 200 words each day into my personal diary. I write about my feelings I encounter, ideas that come to my mind, actions that I take.
200 words for a year, and I can have enough materials for a decent book.
Some of them I did in the past almost every day, some I forgot. Some I did well, some I failed miserably.
So, after 7 days, I would go with them for 2 weeks, then eventually for a month and then who knows, they will be my lifelong companions.
Hopefully I will save my spirit.